What do women really want? Well, It’s a complicated and varied question. As a woman, I would say, many things. We’re re not sure. And sometimes, nothing. There are many levels to look from. One is, what do I want emotionally at any particular time from myself or others? What do I want from someone else, like a lover, or a partner, or just a friend? These questions can be big as the seas with just as much a dark mystery.
I am not here to stereotype women, but I thought it might be interesting to muse a little bit about these questions. I can only share my experience and the journey it took to understand even the simplest thing about life’s questions. Women are all unique in our desires and experiences and yet very similar in many respects, especially when it comes down to simply being loved. How women get that love or that experience is in very, very unique ways.
I know these are all human questions, so I will just focus on what I know thus far.
Me. Simple? No, a labyrinth of ideas, stories, lies, truths and lots of emotions.
This is an inquiry on how I negotiate the jungle of the heart and mind, to find a little freedom as to what it is that I am truly wanting. Let me start with a simple made up scenario giving you an idea of how that can go….
A handsome man walks up to you and taps you on the shoulder and he says. “Hi, I see you are sitting alone here and I was wondering if I could take this seat?” You say, “Sure.”
A little thrown off, as your head was focused intently reading something online for a work deadline. You now have mixed feelings, you didn’t want to be rude and say no, and so you said, yes, to be polite and fair. Do you want him to sit there? Actually, yes, he is quite good looking and seems very gregarious and confident, and there is a strong attraction to him right away. You like that!
Next thought with the attraction, do you start a conversation? Should you? Does he wanna be alone? Is that intrusive? Does he have a girlfriend? Is she on her way and now you would feel uncomfortable if she showed up and you were talking to him? That would be weird and uncomfortable, maybe? What if he asks me out, would I say yes, again? That would be weird, because I don’t’ know him and he may think I am too easy? On and on down a rabbit hole you could go.
Now the pressure is on… All this inner dialog in fantasy land makes you a bit crazy, but it’s simple, what do you want? Do you want to just go back to your work reading or are you gonna strike a conversation with him and take the chance? So funny this was just a small example of what some of us might do.
How would I handle things? I’d say, yes, be kind, and go back to reading.
If I felt a connection and paid attention to body language, there might be an opening to have a discovery conversation and see what is there. People tend to tell you right away who they are and what they want within the first few seconds of meeting them. But only if you’re paying attention.
I always defer to, what do I want, and follow that. Letting go of unnecessary overthinking is key. Making up things about a situation or the person as to who they are or what they want is not clear thinking or flowing. The question is, who are you and what do you want, first.
Practicing patience and working with a clear understanding of my desires keeps the confusion, the crazy, and mystery of what I want, away from the clown door. I work on not being pushed to answer before I have a clear idea of what it is I want or don’t want. Especially with my inner voice. There are many scenarios and desires of what woman may want. With good communication and going at your own pace you can always share clearly what it is that you truly want.