Feeling Depressed is Not a Four Letter Word!

Depressed!!!? Now I am not talking about full-on constant clinical depression. I am talking about I’ve had a few tuff moments as of late and unexpected crap thrown at me with a core mood of being in a no mans land, trying to get directions, while the operator puts me on hold.

So when I was talking to a close friend and started to shared with him what I was experiencing and I said, “I feel sad.” He then pointed out, that what I was going through the past few weeks was not just sad, but an upheaval, a huge life transition and I was feeling depressed, not just sad, but really feeling down in a weird zone.

Well, it was crazy, I felt relief, that he actually called out what I was thinking and that some how it was fine. Then I thought, wow, there is a little stigma around that word, depression. That using the “d” word coupled with being a woman, feeling down was not ok. Could be scary and I shouldn’t say that, unless I want to go to the doctors and be put on meds. Whoa! No!

Then, next that got me thinking about our society, our culture and how we have made it “NOT OK” to be sad, to be dark or have unsettled feelings. This should be kept to ourself and if it’s not “up” and “all is good” we don’t need to hear it. Well, that’s not real, not authentic I thought.

Then I went down the road of thinking about so many others who are shut up and shut down. How many people out there that feel all kinds of things and can’t express themselves, or have the feeling that there is something wrong with them, because we’ve been told it’s not natural, correct or normal. Especially and particularly for woman.

At one point in history to have an emotion or even an orgasm when making love was consider “Hysteria” and that was considered a psychological disorder. The term has a controversial history as it was formerly regarded as a disease specific to women. My God, so I can see how women were consequently afraid that they would be put away and quieted. Again, Whoa!

I can see It’s in our DNA as woman passed on from mother to daughter and so on.

When it comes to me, well, I am a pretty damn self-expressed women.

That insightful conversation earlier gave me pause to look at more my feelings and where I might not edit myself. Choosing to share honestly our feeling with whom ever, is the freedom we all seek. If your friends don’t know how you feel, no one can support you.

Then, next that got me thinking about our society, our culture and how we have made it “NOT OK” to be sad, to be dark or have unsettled feelings. This should be kept to ourself and if it’s not “up” and “all is good” we don’t need to hear it. Well, that’s not real, not authentic I thought.

Fear and shame in female history is not an easy thing to overcome but we can and with awareness and practice we can choose to be freer.

As usual for me, my awareness had me shift and share. I am grateful for the amazing girlfriends and men in my life, who support my full and free self expression and with no fear of being locked up, or given drugs for a mood of “I feel a little depressed.”

Here is the Wiki on Hysteria – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hysteria

Glenda Benevides  musician, storyteller, activist, good human

Feeling Depressed is Not a Four Letter Word!
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